How To Solve The Problem Of Male Anorgasmia |
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Treating male anorgasmia (2)To go straight to the treatment method for male anorgasmia (retarded ejaculation), follow this link. A creative explanation for retarded ejaculation has been put forward by the sexual therapist Bernard Apfelbaum. He suggested that male orgasmic disorder is essentially a problem of excitement and arousal. He thinks most men with anorgasmia only had problems getting to the point of ejaculation with a partner but not during masturbation. In most cases this was because a man had conditioned himself to respond only to a particular type of autoerotic stimulation. He proposed that men with anorgasmia were in fact auterotically orientated - they preferred sex with themselves to sex with a partner. It is certainly true that many men like autoerotic arousal and self-stimulation. And it is also true that men can condition themselves to ejaculate only in response to vigorous stimulation of the penis in a particular way (for example, a common method of autoerotic arousal is thrusting the penis against the mattress of the bed). Why then, would a man with autoerotic orientation find that he has long-lasting, rigid erections with his partner if he is suffering from partner anorgasmia? Apfelbaum suggested that a man's difficulty in getting aroused and sexually excited with a partner could be masked by the presence of these erections. In fact, it is the absence of ejaculation which gives away the presence of anorgasmia. The erections do not represent true sexual arousal; they are simply a way in which the man can fulfill his partner's expectations of sexual intercourse - and appear to be engaging with her, while in fact his unconscious thoughts about her are very different. There isn't much evidence for this, but it does make sense that a man who cannot ejaculate is not aroused enough, whether this is a conditioned response or one born out of unconscious thoughts and feelings. Apfelbaum regarded men with anorgasmia as men who were not able to be selfish enough, men who couldn't take their own pleasure during sex; he suggested that they saw their duty first and foremost as pleasing their partner, but that they labored under the burden of never being able to give enough. And, for that matter, a man with anorgasmia gives the impression to his partner that she can never do anything good for him, either. This means that the only place to go for complete sexual satisfaction s back to himself - the autoerotic stimulation which pleases best because, after all, the man is doing it for himself, and he knows better than anyone what he likes. In one study of men with anorgasmia, it turned out that they did indeed report lower levels of arousal than men with erectile dysfunction and men with premature ejaculation. This lower arousal may be the product of decreased penile sensitivity, a higher ejaculatory reflex threshold, or any combination of these and the psychological factors in delayed ejaculation mentioned elsewhere. if you are looking to cure your own anorgasmia, then you need to spend a bit of time thinking about when and how you experience your partner anorgasmia. The following questions may be helpful here. You are aiming to elucidate when you can reach orgasm and when you cannot. This will lead you to an analysis of the factors that might be causing your inability to ejaculate during sex. Each of these factors can be marked on a scale from 1 - 10 to give you a clear view of how strong each actor may be in the etiology of your retarded ejaculation. Do you approach intercourse with a sense that you must succeed at all costs? Do you feel under pressure right form the start? To what extent do you feel as if you are watching events rather than participating in them? How aroused do you feel when you get your erection and as intercourse proceeds? Do you want sexual stimulation from your
partner? Do you desire her? Do you fear the approach of orgasm? Do you know what this fear is about? (Loss of control, loss of semen, losing yourself, etc.) Does your partner have an orgasm from vaginal thrusting, and if so, do you continue after she has had it? Is sex for you or for her? You need to also think about how you masturbate. You will know if you have a technique which is idiosyncratic - unusual, unique, harsh, or in some other way different from the hand to penis stimulation by which men usually reach orgasm during masturbation. Do you have fantasies during masturbation? Are they normal or extreme, in the sense that they involve unusual imagery? Do you feel guilty about them? Do you believe you have delayed ejaculation? Think for a moment about your partner. Are you, or have you ever been, conscious of feeling hostile towards her? Have you had any flashes of disgust about her? Do you know how you feel towards her? If you did know, how would you feel towards her? [
Treatment of delayed ejaculation; the way to cure retarded ejaculation
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