How To Stop Delayed Ejaculation -
The End Of Retarded Ejaculation!

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Delayed ejaculation (retarded ejaculation) can be stopped. You can stop it! You'll hear many doctors and so-called experts telling men that it is a difficult condition to treat - but the reality is that it is no more difficult than any other habit - premature ejaculation, overeating, overdrinking, and so on. You just have to have the right intention. and that means really wanting to stop the delay in your ejaculation, to stop your retarded ejaculation in its tracks.

So how is it possible to stop retarded ejaculation?

Let's look first of all at what may be stopping you from ejaculating during lovemaking. Delayed ejaculation (DE) and the now less commonly used term retarded ejaculation (RE) refer to the condition in which a man is unable to reach his climax and ejaculate inside his partner's vagina. (In the past, you would have heard this condition called ejaculatory incompetence.

Very often, a man who cannot ejaculate during lovemaking is able to ejaculate during masturbation, either solo masturbation or mutual masturbation. There's no doubt that delayed ejaculation causes distress, stress anxiety and loss of sexual confidence and self-esteem - it can also damage relationships, in particular where children are desired. Stopping it is essential for a couple to have a normal sex life.

How common is delayed ejaculation? Well, much more common than is commonly though - that's for sure. We estimate about one man in twelve suffers from the stress of not being able to stop delayed ejaculation at any one time. It isn't as common as premature ejaculation, though, which affects almost three fourths of all men. Delayed ejaculation can be stopped - it is the man's intention which is more important than anything else in determining the success or otherwise of the treatment. All successful couples were keen to stop the problem, and willing to go to the end of the treatment program.

I don't accept that little is known about the condition, and I wish the medical profession would stop being so negative about it - even to the extent of saying that there is little literature on the subject. This is not true - and the two authors who have received much of the attention of the public - Masters and Johnson, and Helen Kaplan - don't really have an approach to treatment which is useful.

Delayed ejaculation is caused by psychological factors, including a strict upbringing, and other factors which cause a man to have a very controlling personality. Many men with the condition have huge amounts of energy and rather controlling personalities. Very often this is control is directed inward and they give themselves extremely high standards to live up to during sex.

Other causes include fear of pregnancy, vaginal aversion, sexual taboos instilled in childhood, and anger at or hatred directed at women, conscious or otherwise. there are, however, some cases where delayed ejaculation is more of a physical problem; for example, rather a lot of men stop ejaculating quickly as they get older and find that they can last a lot longer during sex: indeed, they may find that they stop getting as many orgasms as they have in the past, that their ejaculation stops being so fast and is now delayed.

There are certainly a number of medications which can affect a man's ability to ejaculate - these include several mood altering drugs and anti-acid preparations like ranitidine. It's also been said that excess consumption of alcohol can also result in delayed ejaculation. Needless to say, serious spinal injuries can cause ejaculatory problems.

Why does not being able to ejaculate cause problems? If you are a man who ejaculates too quickly, you may feel that delayed ejaculation would be a godsend. However, the benefits of delayed ejaculation (being able to thrust for an hour or more, and possibly give a woman a vaginal orgasm) are far outweighed by the drawbacks: not being able to father children, not being able to bring the sex act to a natural close and feel the intimacy of ejaculating in your partner's vagina, not giving a woman the pleasure of feeling responsible for the ultimate male release, not to mention doubting her own attractiveness, and leaving her sore and frustrated. (The man's penis can become very sore as well.)

What can be done to stop delayed or retarded ejaculation?

If there is real motivation to end this problem, it can be done. The whole point of therapy is to stop the man feeling anxiety about sex and/or the vagina, gradually get him more comfortable with his arousal and able to surrender to it so that he can give up control and ejaculate inside his partner's vagina without any difficulty. When a man can achieve orgasm by masturbation and/or during foreplay, he may need to go through a routine where he can ejaculate just outside his partner's vagina, before he moves on to ejaculate inside her. Another common therapy involves treatment in which sex is initially forbidden, but kissing and cuddling are encouraged. The couple move on to a stage where the woman, sits on the man in the classic woman on top position, then masturbates him till he reaches orgasm, regardless of how long it takes. Then she can lover herself onto his erect cock just before he ejaculates, so that the psychological inhibition against him ejaculating inside her is broken.

If you want to have children, you can try getting semen by masturbation and then putting it into your partner's vagina. This may work, but avoid using any sharp instruments!

Causes of delayed ejaculation

The majority of men ejaculate between 2 and 4 minutes after they start thrusting during sexual intercourse. Men who have delayed ejaculation may be unable to ejaculate - especially during intercourse - or they may only be able to ejaculate semen with huge effort and very prolonged intercourse (for example 45 minutes or more).

Common psychological causes for retarded or delayed ejaculation include:

A strict religious upbringing which leaves a man seeing sex as sinful
Lack of attraction or even hatred for a partner
Physical conditioning from idiosyncratic masturbation methods
Traumatic psychological events such as being found having sex or masturbating, or discovering one's partner is having an affair)
Feeling anger or hatred to the partner
Some drugs e.g. prozac, mellaril, and guanethidine can cause delayed ejaculation
Neurological problems, strokes or nerve damage in the vital spinal cord or back

Signs and Symptoms

Stimulation of the penis with a high frequency vibrator can show if a neurological problem lies behind the delayed ejaculation. If a man has never ejaculated in any way, including nocturnal emission, masturbation, or sexual intercourse, a doctor should be asked to conduct a complete check up.

If a man is able to ejaculate with some form of sexual stimulation, the correct treatment approach is to use some kind of therapy, which will include both sexual partners. The process consist of educating and informing the partners about how sex expresses itself in relationship, how communication is essential for the two partners to establish expectations and boundaries, and how good communication can help the partners establish what they want from each other in the way of arousing sexual stimulation. The treatment approach on this website uses homework assignments involving sexual activities designed to reduce performance anxiety, pressure to perform and a renewed focus on sexual pleasure. Sexual intercourse is forbidden for an initial period, which allows the couple to enhance their enjoyment of arousal and ejaculation through other types of sexual stimulation.

If the couple have relationship issues, or they have inhibited sexual desire, sexual therapy may be needed. Establishing intimacy is very necessary for successful treatment. Hypnosis may be helpful; it allows deeper relaxation and permits the man to address issues in his subconscious.

Expectations (prognosis) of treatment for stopping delayed or retarded ejaculation

The better your sex life, the more likely you are to overcome this problem. The same is true if you have only had the problem for a while, have strong sexual desire, love your partner, are highly motivated to stop it, and there are no other serious psychological problems. Complications include marital stress, relationship disharmony, sexual dissatisfaction, decreased or inhibited sexual desire, and a complete avoidance of sexual contact in the worst cases.

Prevention of delayed ejaculation

Psychologically healthy attitudes toward male and female sexuality and all of your own body, including the sexual organs, are important. You must understand that to realize that you cannot will your desired sexual response: the harder you try, the more difficult it may become.

To minimize the psychological pressure, you can immerse yourself completely in the pleasure of the "now", and not worry about ejaculating. Your partner can assist by creating a relaxed atmosphere, where acceptance of what is happening and acceptance of you is key: open discussion of fears around pregnancy or disease is also helpful.

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Can't stop your retarded ejaculation?

Don't stop trying to solve this ejaculation problem! We have the answers.

You may think you have no way of becoming a man who can ejaculate normally during sex. But you can stop this problem, and learn how to ejaculate normally during sex. Our powerful and effective treatment program will allow you to stop the challenge of retarded ejaculation affecting your sex life, and there are some simple and easy techniques which will help you to ejaculate during sex - and you can use them in the privacy of your own home! Click on the link to find out how you can easily overcome delayed ejaculation and ejaculate normally during sex.